Our national “service” provider of electricity would make quite a success on the Broadway stage. For one thing, they deem it necessary to perform “load shedding” on the national electricity grid “with regret, and only to protect our precious system from collapse”. Truly, their infrastructure is under severe pressure due to poor planning. They have several stages of this load shedding, up to Stage 4, so the stage is already set for good drama. Stage 1 is a one act play, Stage 2 a two act play, and so on…
No one just walks into Mordor, the Land of Shadow without a quiver of candles and a box of flint...
No “lights, camera, action.” This performance will be by candlelight and can be shown or cancelled at extremely short notice. So stand by and make sure your yellow taxi doesn’t get stuck in traffic.
Right now in the South the production of A Winter’s Tale is in full swing and we are assured it’s full steam ahead… or should that be smoke? The Impotence of Being Inefficient is the curtain raiser.
Their name, Eskom, is an anagram of “smoke” so expect lots of smokescreens and mirrors, as well as their own brand of word play, also known as spin doctoring to make the egg on their faces seem less garish in the harsh light of centre stage. In fact the entire contents of a stegosaurus egg are used as make-up.
Who needs a dark room?
When alternatives are not available smoke signals are used to promote and market the play.
The title of the production is Let There Be Darkness (when we so decide), produced by Count Darkula and directed by The Dark Knight.
Discount tickets are available on the Dark Side of the aisle, as credit for saving electricity.
Thomas Alva Edison makes an appearance as the inventor of the light bulb and pioneer of early electricity. Henry Ford, whose affordable cars revolutionized the world makes an honorary appearance because when he died in 1947, it was during a power outage.
The last line of the play contains the time honoured phrase Will the last one to leave the room please switch off the lights. However, the lights were already off. The play ends with a candlelight vigil for the finances of Eskom, blighted and in the red because of all the golden handshakes given to CEOs of times past, and corrupt contracts offered to industrial giants below cost.
Encore is heard piped up by some of the audience, but with an added “lights next time” as they stumble towards the exit in a tangled web of arms and legs.
The washing machine suffered a power surge.
She was never the same again.
please switch off the lights.”