One of my earliest memories from pre-primary is of the catchy ditty Old MacDonald had a farm. Ei-hi-ei-hi-o….
You won’t hear any “Old MacDonald” sounds at McDonalds, which reached our shores a few aeons later.
Partly because they are almost exclusively in urban surroundings, but there’s more to it than that.
Farmer MacDonald from the nursery jingle claims no relationship to Big Mac and in fact disowned him and cut him from his will! Then McDonalds dropped the “a” which stands for “authentic.”
Instead of “with a quack quack here and a quack quack there” or “with a moo moo here and a moo moo there, everywhere a moo moooo” you’ll only hear “with a ching ching here and a ching ching there,” as the sale is rung up at the till point to help accumulate the annual millions in Mac’s kitty, or “with a groan groan here and a groan groan there, groooan aarrgh” as later you assist your overloaded digestive system to try to deal with the meal with the help of suitable antacids.
Their cattle become “burgers” (= citizens) of McDonaldland and lose all likeness to the original product. Any resemblance is purely coincidental, and their cattle look something like the rather genetically-modified looking one below:
Even the chips bear no resemblance to any potatoes I’ve ever seen and must have been propagated from a plastic straw grafted onto a kebab skewer, then cultivated in Mac’s special ersatz garden just beyond the children’s play area, which is just as (artificially) colourful and lacking substance as the decor and the food.
McDonalds is a food based religion with countless regular followers and their pope, Ronald, wears red and yellow regalia! The logo is not an “M” as so many think, but an overweight mustard stained crow, wings outstretched and making a valiant effort to fly after ingesting a double cheeseburger in the parking lot.
Somehow the name, associated as it is with his Uncle Old (Old MacDonald), who had a solid reputation, ensured the success of his brash nephew Ronald (Big Mac) McDonald, as hordes of families make their way to the red and yellow one’s numerous outlets every evening, especially weekends, to consume a quick and very refined meal with no added natural ingredients.
Of course there are many fast food outlets in the world but in my own case I think it’s the unforgettably insubstantial chips that sends me in the opposite direction for a quick meal.